I’ve always loved doing sweet little things for Corey to surprise him and make him smile. Acts of service is definitely one of my main Love Languages, so it’s also how I enjoy showing love. Over the last year and a half-ish since having Jackson, though, I have to admit that I’ve fallen behind on the job of showing him love in specific and intentional ways. So, when I heard about this book, The Husband Project, I knew it was the perfect way to kick-start me back into making him a priority on a day-to-day basis.
I’ll admit, when I first started reading it there was a part of me that scoffed at the idea of doing all of these sweet things for him with nothing in return. Isn’t marriage supposed to be all about give and take? But then I kept reading, did some praying, and decided that I needed to stop being selfish and spend some time focusing on making him happy just for the sake of making him happy. And of course, just as I suspected, I didn’t end up regretting a single second. It was so worth it, and I quickly noticed that the more sweet, unexpected things I did for him, the more he did for me in return. Within a couple of weeks I felt like we were closer than ever and we were suddenly both seeking out more ways to make the other smile on a daily basis.
I journaled in the book throughout the whole experience, and I thought the best way to share what the challenge was like for me is to share a few of my thoughts from my favorite challenges.
- “30 Minutes is all it Takes” – I struggled with the idea of giving him 30 minutes all to himself when he got home from work…I worked all day too! I’m exhausted too! Where are my 30 minutes? But I offered anyways, and he actually chose to hang out with me and talk instead of being alone, and he was particularly grateful later that night when I offered to clean up from dinner for him.
- “E-flirt.com” – We used to text each other throughout the day pretty often but this year has been so busy that neither of us has time. I did send one random, sweet text on this day, though. Even though he didn’t have time to respond to me, one of the first things he said when he got in the car at the end of the day was how much he appreciated it.
- “A Little Hands-on Attention” – I surprised him with a back rub while we were watching television. He loves them and I rarely do it, so he was thrilled. I think the exact quote was “this is unexpected and amazing!”
- “Stress-be-Gone” – I put his clothes away for him after washing them, and he actually seemed to feel bad that I did it! It showed me that maybe sometimes I do stuff like that for him and then make him feel guilty (“well, you were never going to do it so I figured I’d just do it myself…”) and that’s not fair. This one was a big eye-opener for me!
I was definitely surprised by the challenges that made the biggest impact (it was often the small, easy challenges!) and I had so much fun planning each day. It was an awesome way to reset my brain and get me thinking about what I can do for him instead of worrying about what he’s doing for me. I feel so much happier in general now that I’m spending more time on making him happy, and it just feels so nice to really focus on our relationship for a bit.
Now that I’ve gotten started on this, I don’t want to stop! I’m trying to think of more sweet things I can do for him to keep the momentum going.
Would you ever do this project? What little things do you do to make your spouse feel loved?