One year ago yesterday, on May 18th, 2013, my life changed forever.
I remember the weekend before that day had been Mother’s Day, and I spent the whole day wondering if I was pregnant. I had a feeling that I was, but since we’d only been trying for a few weeks I didn’t really think it was possible.
I remember that during that week at work before I found out, my principal brought her brand new baby up to school to meet everyone. And I remember holding him and wondering if I would have one of my own soon.
I remember driving to work one morning that week and hearing a sappy song that reminded me of our wedding and bursting into tears almost immediately. I wondered what was wrong with me – was I emotional because I was pregnant?
I remember taking a test on Tuesday or Wednesday of that week and thinking that I saw a super faint line. But I thought it was way too early to actually see anything, so I brushed it off and figured I’d try again over the weekend.
I remember waking up at 6:00 on Saturday morning and just laying in bed, trying to will myself back to sleep. It seemed silly to get up this early and test. There was no way I was pregnant. And even if I was, I was only four weeks along so it was doubtful I’d test positive.
I remember that after laying there for about twenty minutes, I finally gave up and went into the bathroom – I obviously wasn’t going back to sleep at that point!
I remember the insane nerves that washed over me as I played with my phone while I waited those torturous three minutes.
I remember seeing a faint but unmistakeable line on that test and feeling like I was going to pass out.
I remember leaping into bed and shoving the test in Corey’s face, and him sadly telling me “oh, well, we’ll try again next month.”
I remember explaining to him that two lines, in fact, meant a positive, not a negative.
I remember the look of sheer joy that crossed his face, and giggling like maniacs for a good ten minutes.
I remember how he made me take a digital test, because he didn’t quite believe it until he saw the words “pregnant”.
I remember the feeling of “what now?” as it truly sunk in that we were going to have a baby, and we didn’t want to tell anyone yet. It was all we could talk about or think about but we had to keep it quiet for a few more weeks.
I remember wondering about this tiny little human growing inside of me. What he would look like (he was always a “he” to me – I just knew he would be a boy), how he would act. I couldn’t wait to meet him.
And now, he’s here. He’s almost four months old and he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to us. I have loved watching him grow so far, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life watching him continue to grow.