On Returning to Work

Whew. This last week was tough.

I went back to work last Monday and I’m not exaggerating when I say it was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. It was the longest I had ever been away from Jackson and leaving him behind that first day absolutely broke my heart.

However, I feel like I should acknowledge that I am totally and completely spoiled by an amazing set-up. I’ve had several people ask what we are doing with Jack while we’re at work, so here it is: my school has a daycare. It’s just a couple hundred yards away from the school itself, in a little portable. It is run by people I have known for years and that I trust completely. I’m able to go up to daycare every single day during my conference period and spend about 30 minutes feeding and snuggling with my sweet boy.

I am very, very lucky.

But that doesn’t make it easy. Monday felt almost impossible, but I survived. Tuesday was a little easier, and by Friday I wasn’t tearing up when I dropped him off in the mornings. It would have been much harder for me if it weren’t for my daily visits, and I can’t imagine returning to work without them.

My ultimate dream is to be able to be a stay-at-home mom. It always has been, and I think it always will be. But I’m fortunate enough to love my job, so even if we aren’t in a situation where I can stay at home, at least I feel challenged and fulfilled every day at work.

There are 53 days left in the school year (not that I’m counting or anything…) and then I get to be home with my baby for two and a half months. There are no words for how much I’m looking forward to that.

But for now, we’re taking it one day at a time and trying to adjust to our new normal. It’s much harder to get things like housework and laundry done (much less work on my graduate school homework!) now, but I’m confident that as we get used to things it will keep getting easier. At least, I hope they will.

Has anyone else made this transition recently? Any tips for staying on top of everything?

2 comments

  1. Karen says:

    Ahhh Mama!! Those first few months back are rough!! It gets easier! My mama guilt has reduced drastically over the last two years. In fact, now I think she needs the structure and flow of her day care over being home!! Plus, she kinda loves her day care and friends!!

    At this point, working and keeping the little one thriving are your job!! You are still in survival mode!! Don’t try to be super women- you are already a super mom!! It takes time to feel normal again- or to realize that you have a new normal!! Hugs and cuddles. Do what’s best for you and forget about the rest.

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  2. saroy says:

    I’m late to this post, but just wanted to agree with Karen that it does get easier! I was 100% ready to go back to work, and even with that, it took a good 2-3 months to really get used the new routine and feel comfortable with everyone. So hang in there!

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